With, not For

Last summer before we went on vacation to my parents house I would have said that Austin was doing great adjusting since Chase was born. But then we got to Washington and my sister just doted on him day and night. She held him on her lap so he could eat, she took him down to the beach, watched shows with him, sang songs and pushed other cares aside to pay attention to him. And he LOVED it! When she wasn't there he asked, "Where's Aunt Devvie? (Debbie)?" or "When Aunt Devvie get here?"

It made me realize how my little Austin desperately needs my attention. Since Chase was born, Austin's needs seem to be pushed aside until the baby's needs are met. I have him in two days a week of preschool and most days he tells me he doesn't want to go, he just wants to stay home with me. This is especially true if we go do anything the mornings he has school. The days he is happiest is when we stay home in the morning and while Chase is down for his morning nap, Austin and I play together. He wants me to race cars, play with his little people, do puzzles, play catch, etc. He doesn't care what it is we are playing, just that I am playing With him.

And Austin isn't the only one. Bryce thinks I am the best Super Mario Galaxy player in the world (and really, I am). The other day he was playing the Wii and needed help passing a board, so he came to get me and he said, "Mom, I'm so sorry I always need help with Super Mario Galaxy." What he doesn't know is I'd rather play that with him than do just about anything else.

The events of my day pretty much revolve around doing things for my kids. It starts in the morning with making breakfast, packing lunches, helping them change, wiping bottoms and noses, being their chauffeur, preparing food, cleaning laundry, picking up toys, and the list goes on and on. I can easily fill my day with doing things for my kids.

And then there's Derek. He goes to work all day so he can provide a nice life for our family. It really isn't a stretch to say that one of the ways he shows his love for us is by going to work. But it takes him from us and the boys don't care what he does during the day, they just want him to play with them from the moment they pounce on him when he walks through the door until bed time.

Going to work, cleaning the house, doing laundry and making dinner are all things that have to happen. But I hate to find myself constantly telling my children I will play with them once I am done doing some task. Because they don't care if the house is clean or we have vegetables with our dinner, they just want me to show interest in them. And while providing clean socks is one way I say I love you to my children, they just don't hear it as loudly as they do when I chase them around the kitchen, or spin Bey Blades, or paint pictures with them. I don't want to be a mom who stands on the outskirts watching my children grow up while do things FOR them. I want to be a mom who is actively invovled playing WITH them. It's something I think of a lot as I go through my day, not to let the things I do For my family get in the way of being With my family.