And so it begins:
Isn't Bryce's artwork lovely.Last week also told me he hated me on 4 different occasions.
So, I feel like we have been fighting the same battles over and over again. We constantly deal with the same undesirable behavior. For example, today
I said, "Bryce, it's time to go, let's get your shoes on."
To which he automatically replied, "No, I don't want to go (He never wants to go, it doesn't matter if it's someplace fun like preschool or boring like the store - he always says no). I want to play the Wii."
I said, "You can play the Wii when we get home. It's time to go."
He said, "No, I'm not going." Then he went over to Austin and pushed him down.
So I told him he wouldn't get to play with Wii for the rest of they day because he hurt his brother and then he said, "Sorry Austin. Can I play the Wii now?" Which I said no to and then he said, "But I said sorry." As if that was going to actually help. This scene repeats itself over and over in our house. This is the reason we have almost a 4 year gap between our kids! Anytime this child is given any sort of direction whether it's to eat dinner, go to bed, get dressed etc. it's met with immediate opposition. I'm so tired of it.
I love Bryce. He and I have very similar temperments. This is not a good thing. We have essentially butted heads for 4 of his 5 years on earth. There is so much of his behavior that is done specifically to spite me, that even when it only hurts himself, he still does it. He knew pushing his brother would make him loose the Wii. Right now it's over small things, but I know this oppositional streak. It's a familiar trait in myself, and I've seen a far worse streak of it in my family. In 10 years, how is he going to handle this? Is it silly I'm already dreading the teenage years? I worry he's just going to do everything bad just to spite me, and then hate me for it. It's a good thing Derek can parent Bryce because I'm beginning to believe I suck at it.
Maybe we've just got a little cabin fever. Maybe it is just a "phase" (that's lasted 4 years). Maybe he just really needs to start kindergarten. Maybe I'm not focusing enough on the times he's good, and sweet, and reasonable, because he does have times when he's like that. Just not right now. I am grateful he isn't like this to other people. But honestly, I just want to scream, "Serenity Now!" and have it actually help. Is that crazy???
16 comments:
Oh Sheri, I can speak your language. Zach can push my buttons like no other. But, the thing that worries me most is his opposition to ALL THINGS. At least, all things coming from ...ME! Oil and water, I tell ya. Hang in there, give yourself a pat on the back. You are an amazing mom! You are the best mom for Bryce (I know you hate to hear that because I do, too) If you weren't up to the challenge...you wouldn't be asked to hurdle it.
Sheri, I can totally feel your pain....especially today with my lovely 3 year old who is in a "mood".
And yes, I am totally dreading the teenage years. Oh my. It's hard to imagine my girls could get any more emotional than they are already!
Hang in there!
**KT
Hey Sheri, I bet you didn't know I read your blog still since I never leave comments. But anyway, even though he is only three I have a child with a very similar temperment. I felt like I spent all of my day getting angry and trying to disapline because even at two he knew exactly how to push my buttons. My friend recomended a book called Christlike Parenting which gave me a totally different perspective as well as techniques to handle those continuing situations and I highly recomend it. It's written by an LDS author, named Glenn Latham. You should be able to get it online. It has a picture of a parent and a child's hand touching on the cover. Good luck! Praying for patience helps also. :)
I've been thinking the same thing lately...my little girl is driving me crazy. And what's worse is that I'm starting to have phrases screamed at me when I ask her to do things like,"ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!" Not cute!
I read this as my oldest, yes my oldest (the one who should be at school) is sitting in timeout. BTW, the whole reason he is not at school is another topic. I feel like he has gotten to the age that he is too old for certain punishments that just aren't working (such as timeout apparently). I've heard about this whole "Love and Logic" thing that I'm hoping will help because I am desperate to understand what makes him tick and how I can regain my role as the parent! Good luck
It's just plain hard being a parent. It was in the small print and we all forgot to read it. I'm a big fan of "Because I said so!" There weren't many books that I was aware of when my kids were growing up so that was what they heard a lot and none of them died from their tantrums or the occasional spanking. I know, how can you tell them not to hit if you hit them. . . . . but there are times when understanding that bigger means more power is an important concept to learn. You are a great mom. Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.
Why is it that our children have to torture us so badly at times? You are a great mom. I think we all have days (or weeks or months) where we feel our parenting skills are way below average.
By the way, now that this day is over and my kids are in bed, I think I am officially marking this down as one of the 10 worst days with my kids!
Oh my goodness, Jeremy and I are still laughing out loud, I am literally in tears and Jeremy has choked himself. Can I just say there is a reason you have a great sense of humor...don't ever forget that. I have had days that I question my parenting and want to pull my hair out. A book that I think is essential for any parent is "Family First" by Dr. Phil McGraw. Hang in there, Avery told me (and Jeremy on separate occassions) that she hated me and wanted a different mom. I was so shocked I was speechless. After I talked to her about how awesome I was she realized she didn't want a new mom after all. I may have embellished a bit by telling her other moms don't take their kids anywhere fun or give them dessert, etc. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and makes me look better :-)
If it makes you feel better, you're not alone. Kalli doesn't know the word "hate" yet, but she tells me daily that she "can't love me and i can't love her." Then she hits me. Then she hits her brother. Won't it be great to send them all to kindergarten?
Here's what is great: Have you noticed that when little boys grow up, in their eyes, Mom can do no wrong. I'm sure that will be the case with you.
And kindergarten is just a few months away. And winter is almost over. Maybe we should lock your Bryce and my Kalli in a room and see if the world ends... miss you!
I have stayed at your home and seen first hand that you are a good mom. I have no advice; maybe just put him in a closet for a few hours a day.
Okay, so this is Rachel, your sister-in-law. I am not sure why I am showing up as "ward." I am going to have to look into that.
Sheri,
I wish that you were still here and we could comiserate together! Aubrey used to tell me several times a day that I am the "worst mother". I guess that they will get over it some day. You are a great mom!
Wow. you got lots of comments on this one. Apparently, we aren't the only two in the world who's children hate them at times. I think its a good thing. That means we're doing our job.
I remember threatening to run away at 5 years old. I had my suitcase packed and everything, so I guess this is pay back. Don't you wish they could stay little ( I mean before they can talk back) forever?
Good luck!
And then of course he's an angel the nex tday and Grace is the terror . . . ;)
It's not crazy that you already dread the teenage years...what parent looks forward to that? Sorry Bryce is being difficult. Just remember, you are a GREAT mom! (Love the picture at the beginning of the post...I was totally cracking up!)
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